Matthew 25:35 Project

I met an atheist guy last Saturday. I sat next to him and listened to his story for more than 2 hours. He was a Christian, a worship leader before; but now he chose to be an atheist because of us, Christians.

One thing that he said over and over again: “Christians only know how to say let’s pray or let me pray for you or you go and pray or pray and God will help you. And when I asked them for a help they said pray, God will help you. That’s all.”

And that sentence hit me right on my face. I know praying is one of the ways for us to get closer to God; to talk with Him, to share what’s inside our heart with Him, to say thank you to Him, everything. We also pray for others; for their needs, for provisions, for safety, for love and lot more. I love to pray and I enjoy pouring out my heart to God.

“And when I asked them for a help they said pray, God will help you. That’s all.”

I actually can stand beside him and say that I agree with him in this case. I don’t like that kind of Christians also; people that only talk about bible but then never do anything in reality. Those kind of people are not the real follower of Jesus, I believe.


If you want to know the detail story about that atheist guy you can click here

We are blessed to be a blessing; not only in finances but in any way. Jesus teaching us to love each other like we love ourselves but what happen with the world today? We love ourselves more than Jesus.

How so? Maybe you think “I love Jesus, I go to church every Sunday, I sing worship song….” But I personally think it is not enough.

“For I was hungry and you gave me something to eat, I was thirsty and you gave something to drink, I was a stranger and you invited me in, I needed clothes and you clothed me, I was sick and you looked after me, I was in prison and you came to visit me… Truly I tell you, whatever you did for one of the least of these brothers and sisters of Mine, you did for Me.” Matthew 25:35-36,40

It is written in the bible. Jesus said that. Again, we are blessed to be a blessing. I am blessed to be a blessing.

Those 2 hours of conversation with that man makes me think until today. Yes I do think about how to bring him back to God; but I also think about how can I be a better person, a better Christian, a better daughter of God.

I believe when God created this earth, He gave us enough recourse for millions of years. But then look around us; how come there are people with lots of money and totally rich beyond imagination and also at the same time there are people that doesn’t have anything. It is because of us humans. We are greedy.

I don’t want to be greedy. I don’t want to be rich if it’s going to make me careless about others. I just want to have enough, enough to share it with others. I don’t want to only pray for others, but I also want to help them when I am able to help. I want to be available to God to use me as His hands and feet.

And that’s why I write this post. In here I promise I will be available to God to use me no matter what. I don’t want only to pray, I want to do and help as much as I can.

And I know that God is not only calling me to do this, but He want every single one of His children to do this. Let us abandon our own desires and agendas and just obey Him and let Him fills our cups.

Let us be available 24/7, let us give as much as we can, let us love with all the love that we have. Let’s make this world a better place. And I know it’s not only a dream, it is something that is very possible to do.

You know what I want to do right now? I want to feed people; not only someone but lots of people. Last Wednesday God has blessed me with an opportunity to feed an old grandma and her granddaughter. And it was more than just a lunch, God taught me a lot that day. And last Saturday me and my friends had a chance to share little blessing to an old man. It’s not much, but for him it’s a lot. It’s just a simple meal, but for him it’s a food that he cannot afford. It’s just a little help, but for him it’s a strength to continue the day.

There are so many homeless people in this town called Jakarta. There are so many children without home and education. Every day is another battle field; it is a battle to be able to survive another day.

And this time I would love to invite you to join me to do something little yet big for a lot of people. I would love to invite you to participate in “Matthew 25:35” project. It is a project where we will do something for Him; to give food to the hungry and drink to the thirsty. We will pray for them, but not only pray but we will do something.

I know it’s not an organization based project, but if you feel led to be part of this project please let me know (by comment, or email or through facebook). And I won’t mention any amount in here, because I want you to be free to ask God how much He wants you to give the money and blessing back to Him :) because well, it is His anyway.

Or if you’re ready to do it now just click here, Matthew 25:35 project to donate.

I will post all pictures and all stories of each person who receive this blessing from you.

Please help me to make this come true. Let us work together for this :)

I think it will be awesome if I can say to the person that his help comes from people in other side of the earth.. Just because they are loved by our Father.

You can feed someone, or you can even feed a dozen or more people.

Yeah, let us feed the hungry!!

Go feed someone

So this morning as I walked outside to have another Jesus time, a stranger walked towards me and handed me a 200,000 rupiah bill; roughly its about $20. He then said, "I felt I should give this to you" and then he left. I was so shocked that I can't say anything. I wanted to say thank you but then I can't find him anymore anywhere. He's disappeared!

Then I talked to Him, and this how our conversation went down:

Me: God, I don't know what it is but thank you so much for blessing me financially like this. I know it is You, God. You know that I don't have any penny right now, so thank you so much.

God: Feed someone.

Me: What? Really? Like literally feed someone today? I thought its for.. Oh well, okay.

God: I blessed you that money so you can bless someone. You said you love me, right? Go share the love.

As I walking around the area, I kept praying to God to lead me to that person He wanted me to bless. Sure enough I stumble upon an old grandma with her granddaughter. They were standing in front of the bus terminal looking so confused  and lost. I humbly approached them if they have eaten yet, they said no, so I offered to buy them food and we went to McDonald's.

After getting our food, we sat down and I just talked to them. Asked them their names , where they were from, and why they were standing in front of the bus terminal looking so confused. She then answered me and told me that she is looking for her daughter, the mother of her granddaughter. And all she have is a paper of her address. She's been travelling from the other part of the Island and running out of money to continue the journey. Later I found out that she lost her house and everything she had because of fire. She's been wondering around in her village staying in relative's house and then finally they kicked her out. And with all the money she had; which not much, she decided to go to Jakarta to find her daughter. She was crying when she told me all the story. I can't help but just feel the brokenness from her voice.

After that meal, I asked her if I can pray for her and her granddaughter. She said yes. And then after that I shared about Jesus and how He will take care of her and how He loves her. As I talking with her I felt so strong to give all the money that I have to her. And to be honest that was hard because if I give it all to her then I will have no money and have to walk home. But then the feeling getting stronger and I decided to give the rest of the money to her so that she can continue her journey to find her daughter. I told her, "Life is tough but always remember that God is good and always good."

I gave them my number and I told them to call me if they need anything.. ANYTHING. I prayed for them again and they left.

I am not trying to brag about myself today, to be honest it was hard in the beginning for me to do what He asked me to do. I was thinking about how I can use the money since I am totally broke at the moment.

But then this simply just a reminder for all of us how everyday there's people out there that are waiting for God, and people like us, as Christians, we are His hands and feet. We need to always deny our personal desires and agendas and make ourselves available to God's calling, EVERYDAY. So that we can bless people. Whether big or small it doesn't matter. God gets the glory, not you or me.

"Do not merely listen to the word, and so deceive yourselves. Do what it says." James 1:22

Interesting how this was the verse I read before I started my 'day' pretty prophetic. I walked home feel totally full; full of His presence, full of His love. And this feeling is the result of just simply obeying God. And to obey God means, to abandon ourselves and let God take control of our lives. To challenge ourselves everyday, to empty our cup that is full of sins, empty our lives and allow God to fill your cup, your life with His Holy Spirit and with His purpose.

That old grandma and her granddaughter, they were standing in front of the bus terminal didn't know what to do. I believe they were praying and asking God to help them, and God listened. He always does. He sent His help miraculously, not only to help that grandma; but also at the same time teaching me more to trust in Him.

I walked home with empty pocket and wallet but then I know at the same time I walked home with joy. I know that my cup is overflow with God's love and I am beyond happy that I can share it with others. God says, "Do not worry about tomorrow"; so I decided not to worry about what will I eat or how will I go and will I afford to do things tomorrow because I know He knows exactly what I need and will give it to me in His perfect timing. Just like how He did to that grandma and her granddaughter today.

And when I arrived at home (after walking about 30 minutes, not bad), another verse popped in my head.

"Not that I speak from want, for I have learned to be content in whatever circumstances I am. I know how to get along with humble means, and I also know how to live in prosperity; in any and every circumstance I have learned the secret of being filled and going hungry, both of having abundance and suffering need. I can do all things through Christ who strengthens me." Philippians 4:11-13

Today I experienced it. I was walking around this morning having a Jesus time asking Him if He is aware with my finance situation that I almost cannot afford anything at the moment. Then miraculously a stranger gave me money that will be enough to cover my living cost for few days. And then He asked me to use the money to feed someone, and I ended up using all the money that I have to feed and help an old grandma and her granddaughter. I had to walk home with empty pocket, but now with new attitude. I trust Him now without any doubt that He will take care of me and my needs. That I can do all things with Him.

And at the same time I am thinking of the stranger that gave me the money. I do not know his struggles but I believe that he is blessed.

We are blessed to be a blessing. It doesn't matter how big or how small as long as we obey Him. Because what we have it's not actually ours, it is His.

And again now I know that my cup is overflow, with His love. And I wont worry about what will I eat tomorrow and how can I afford life tomorrow, because He is there already and He will take care of everything.

And just now before I write this experience down, I read this:

And that is my prayer for today and the rest of my life. Because I believe when we give everything.. EVERYTHING to Him then we will experience the greatest love and miracles in our lives.

May all of us blessed to be a blessing to people around us. Because even your little obedience will help someone's life.

May all of us ready to give ourselves to the One that actually the owner of our lives. To abandon all of our desires so that He can fill it with His.

Wait on Me, My princess.. My prince

Wait on Me, My princess. My timing is always perfect. I know you're anxious about many things, and I see your passion for all the plans I have put in your heart. I know that you long to fly, and I see your enthusiasm. However, just as a vine dresser nurtures the vine and waits patiently for the right moment to harvest the grapes, so too am I working tirelessly to prepare you to bear much fruit. Don't run ahead of Me or try to fly before My plans are complete. Your strength will fail you, and your dreams will wither away. Trust Me that My dreams for you are far greater than you can dream on your own. You will run farther and soar higher if you will patiently wait for the season of My blessing. Draw close to Me now, and I promise that this season of waiting will bring you the sweetest of rewards.

Love,

Your King and Lord of perfect timings

But those who wait on the Lord will find new strength. They will fly high on wings like eagles. They will run and not grow weary. They will walk and not faint.

Isaiah 40:31

Before I start to write this post, I want to underline something from that letter.

Girls, you are His princess.

Boys, you are His prince.

I know it's hard to keep that in mind, because in this world most of us are just "another human". One of that 6 almost 7 billions. For this world I am just another Stephanie, and you probably just another Jessica, Ricky, James, Esther or whatever your name is.

But for God, you are His princess.. His prince.. And His love for you is never ending. You own His heart. His heart is all for you. He is crazily madly in love with you.

I also have to keep that in mind.

Back to that letter. It is easy to say, "be patient, God's timing is the best" when you are not experiencing "the waiting". I am a very impatient person. I always wanting things to come fast. I want it now so it's better be now. But since I came to know the Lord, He's been teaching me a lot about waiting for His perfect timing. And He also teaching me again and again to trust in His plan and promises.

I love to dream and sadly I will force my dreams to fit into God's dream for my life. But He is saying that His dream for us is far greater than our own dream. BAM! Can you think about it again? Far greater than our own dream. I believe that none of us dreaming of ourselves something little. We mostly will dream about something big. But no matter how big our dreams are, His dream for us still far greater.

But when the time of waiting comes, it feels so empty. The time of waiting for me is the best time, but also the hardest time. It is hard because you are waiting. Who likes waiting, anyway? None of us, I believe. It is the best because when you see the result, the price, the rewards and it is the time where you will grow a lot.

For me, I like to be busy. I love to have something to do in my life. I don't like waiting. And God with all His love for me, He gave me this season of waiting. Just a month ago I thought I had all the plan for my life for the next 2 years, but now I have almost nothing. Him again putting me on my knees, taking all of my prides, all of my dreams, emptying me from myself, so He can put more of His heart, His dream and Himself in me.

Is it a nice process? Heck no! It is painful. Remember about the clay and the potter? The story is beautiful isn't it? But think again, that process of making the clay into a very beautiful jar is not easy. Molding, pressing, shaping it and then put it on fire and few more steps and the result is a very beautiful jar. And that is exactly what He is doing to me, to us in the time of waiting.

He is the potter; we are the clay--He does the planning, molding, shaping, building, constructing, fashioning, forming, devising, the reworking; He makes the indentations, the marks, and places His stamp of identification on us.

And that is exactly what is going on in my life right now. He is the true gardener. He cuts off every branch in me that bears no fruit, while every branch that does bear fruit He prunes so it will be even more fruitful (John 15:1-2). He is doing it right now in my life. Taking off everything in me that bears no fruit and prunes everything in me that does bear fruit so it will bears more. This process is painful yet something to be rejoice.

I long to fly, but He doesn't want me to fly before His plan is complete. I long to save the world, but He doesn't want me to save it with my own strength. I want to run the race, but He doesn't want me to run on the wrong path.

Whatever He do, He do it for our best. That's somehow we always forget. When things go wrong, we often asking Him why. We also start to blame Him, doubt Him and on and on. It happened to me few times. We forget that as much as we want good things in our lives, He is wanting it more. He wants us to live the best life that we can.

So now then I will wait. I will draw myself closer to Him. It doesn't matter how much pain that I have to go through in this process, I want to be more like Him.

In this waiting moment, He's been challenging me to die to myself more and more. He also putting me in the situation where I cannot go anywhere but to run to Him. He is teaching me that He loves my little family more than I love them. He is telling me to trust Him that my mom's health is under His control. He is asking me to trust Him that He will provide every single penny that I need--not only money but He also teaching me to trust Him that He will take care of me.

One story for that: yesterday afternoon I went home from the hospital with just enough money for the transportation. I had no extra money at all. Last time I eat was on the afternoon the day before. So it was almost all day without food, only water and a glass of apple juice. I was beyond hungry I think. There was no food in my house. We are running out of money and can't really afford to do groceries. I was sitting down on my bed telling God how hungry I was and asking Him to help me not to feel hungry. And then about 5 minutes after that my friend called me on the phone asking me where I was. He's telling me that he bought some food for me and my brother. I asked him why, he told me "just because I want to". But then I know it's God telling him to do that. It's a simple story but yet showing His love and mercy and grace in my life. He will never let me starving. He is taking care of me, not only for big things but also all the tiny little wee things in my life.

While we are waiting we always have to remember that we were formed by God's hands, dreamed up in His heart and placed in this world for a purpose. So that we know that this whole process will brings us to the best of us.

I know for sure this season of waiting will bring me the sweetest of rewards. It will bring me closer to Him, to the lover of my soul.

And in this season of waiting; even though it's hard, even though it's painful, even though it feels like I'm in the desert; I will wait on Him.

I'm waiting on You, Lord

And I am hopeful

I'm waiting on You, Lord

Though it is painful

But patiently I will wait

I will move ahead, bold and confident

And while I'm waiting

I will serve You

While I'm waiting

I will not faint

While I'm waiting

I will not grow weary

While I'm waiting

I will worship You

"I know what it is to be in need, and I know what it is to have plenty. I have learned the secret of being content in any and every situation, whether well fed or hungry, whether living in plenty or in want. I can do all this through Him who gives me strength" -Philippians 4:12-13

And to finish this post I would like to ask you to keep me in your prayers. I do believe in the power of prayer.

Please pray for my mom's health, pray that she will keep getting better and better so she will be ready to go home by the end of this week. Please pray for me as a wait on the Lord for the next step; He has revealed some of it, I just need to get my focus back. Please pray for focus, I've been running around since my mom went into the hospital so I can't really put things together. Please and please pray for God's provision; for my mom's hospital bills that need to be paid on Saturday and also provision for all of our needs, we are pretty broke but I know God is in control. Thank you guys!

And I pray so that when you're facing time of waiting you will keep focus on God. I pray that you will get more understanding of His love and His plan in your life. I pray that you will always remember that you are His prince/princess, that His love for you is never ending.

Let us fly high on wings like eagles!

He Is The Anchor That Will Hold

Jesus

When storm comes

When hope seems so out of reach

There's one name that I can hold on to

That name is Jesus

When my heart cannot stop crying

When it is so hard to stand with my own feet

There's one hand that always holding me tight

Jesus' hand is all I need

I put all my sorrow and fear away

I choose to sit in His presence

Where His love and mercy

Lift me up once again

I cry out and calling His name

There His love comes to comfort me

That mighty hand holding me tight

And help me through the day

Jesus Jesus

The only name that comforts me

Jesus Jesus

In your presence is where I belong

Jesus Jesus

How I love Thee

Jesus Jesus

I know You are here with me

I wrote that about a year ago when my mom and dad went into the hospital at almost the same time. I remember that time very well. I remember the feeling--numb. I never though that I will read it again with the same feeling--numb.

"My life can't get any worse than this", that's what I thought few weeks ago when I failed to get US visa. I was drowning in that sadness for a little while and then I managed to feel better and ready to move forward but then something pretty bad happened again.

It was late at night on Saturday when suddenly my mom felt a massive pain in her liver. She's been struggling with liver cancer for more than 5 years. Me and my brother took her immediately to the hospital, and there she is until now.

It hit me pretty bad. Again I feel so broken, more broken than I was few weeks ago.

I left Thailand with hope that I will go and do my SBS in Kona.

I fought really hard to get the visa, with all I have.

I failed to get US visa.

My mom's health is dropping.

She is hospitalized with crazy pain in her liver.

I literally feel like I was carrying the whole universe on my shoulder.

It was so heavy. I am broken into pieces. And I am also totally broke.

It was so crazily heavy I cannot handle it. Sunday night I was weeping sobbing in my room. The pain was too strong I cannot breath. Why all of this happened to me? I cannot find the answer.

I was so mad at my self, and shockingly I was so mad at God. For a while I was trying to hide that feeling, but then I know that I was so mad at Him I cannot control it. One night I was trying to pray but no words come out from my mouth, only this thought "How could You, God?? How could You do this to me???"

Again I cried, I cried not only because of the pain but also because I was so mad at Him. I cried until I cannot cry anymore.

In that silent I can hear Him say, "Stephanie, I will never leave you. I will never forsake you. I am with you." And in that silent I can hear Him crying with me. I can feel Him holding me tight. I can feel that He's feeling all my pain. I can hear Him singing me a lullaby. I can feel Him watching me. And then I fell asleep.

I woke up in the morning feeling so much better. I can feel hope again. I repented, I asked for forgiveness. I feel free.

I told one of my friends few days ago how broken I was. I felt so alone and lonely in my own country. No church group supports, surrounded with friends from my life before with Christ, my own family and relatives not supporting me and encouraging me, I am totally broke. And that feeling successfully made me feel more depressed.

But that time I forgot one thing, one very important thing: God is always with me, no matter what. Even though I was so mad at Him, blaming Him.. He never let me go. He patiently waiting for me to realize that He is there with me.

Jesus is the anchor of my soul. He is the anchor that will always hold.

With Him as my anchor, whatever storm that comes, it will never take me away from Him. He will hold me. He always does.

And I am just a human with all my weaknesses. There were so many times I fell and doubted His goodness in my life. But He is a very loving God that no matter how often we fall, He will always calls us home. Home into His loving arms.

He promised us that when we are weak, then we are strong. We are strong because of His strength.

I am now trying to stand up again. Not with my own strength but with the strength that comes from Him. To be honest, I can still feel the pain. But now I will let Him heal it. There are still so many things running around in my head; all the bills that need to paid, my future plan, my mom's health and lots more. I think my brain will always thinking, will always working as long as I am still breathing. But my heart will always choose to believe that God will never leave me, will never forsake me.

And Jesus is truly the most beautiful name that I have ever heard. He is the best bestfriend that I could ever asked. He is the best lover. He is the greatest comforter.

I am nothing without Him. And in this craziness of my life, I am happy that I have Him. Because He is the only hope that will last.

And I know the devil was trying to take me away from Him. He was trying to tell me all the lies. He thought that he will win. But he's not and he will never ever win.

I quoted this from my friend. This is what I said over and over again for the past few days:

"Hey devil, you think you got the best of me, you think you had the last laugh, you think that everything good is gone. Think you left me broken down, think that I'd come running back. Hey devil, you don't know me because you're dead wrong! I have my loving Father with me. And you will never ever win!"

As for me right now, I will rest in my Father's presence.

I want to grasp that Jesus is enough. Jesus is enough. Jesus is enough.

No matter what happens, Jesus is enough.

To again surrender and believe that Jesus is enough.

I have to learn again to put all my trust and hope in Him alone. To put my mom's health and life in His hand and believe whatever happens, He is in control. To trust that He will provide for all the bills that I need to pay. To willingly surrender everything and believe that Jesus is enough.

Yes Lord!

I want to feel it again

Just You and me

In Your presence

Reveal to me Your beauty o Jesus

One day when I see You face to face

I want to say this to You:

"I have fought the good fight, I have finished the race, I have kept the faith"

(2 Tim 4:7)

And you too! Keep fight the good fight. Let's finish the race and keep the faith.

No matter what you are facing right now, let Him come and satisfy you. Let Him come and comfort you. Let Him come and loving you.

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Please keep me in your prayers as I need to see breakthrough in finances to be able to pay for hospital bills. Please pray for God's provision. Thank you so much!!
If you feel led to give, a little, a lot, any amount will be greatly appreciated by me and my mom. You can click donate. Thank you so much, may God bless you abundantly.