Wait on Me, My princess. My timing is always perfect. I know you're anxious about many things, and I see your passion for all the plans I have put in your heart. I know that you long to fly, and I see your enthusiasm. However, just as a vine dresser nurtures the vine and waits patiently for the right moment to harvest the grapes, so too am I working tirelessly to prepare you to bear much fruit. Don't run ahead of Me or try to fly before My plans are complete. Your strength will fail you, and your dreams will wither away. Trust Me that My dreams for you are far greater than you can dream on your own. You will run farther and soar higher if you will patiently wait for the season of My blessing. Draw close to Me now, and I promise that this season of waiting will bring you the sweetest of rewards.
Love,
Your King and Lord of perfect timings
But those who wait on the Lord will find new strength. They will fly high on wings like eagles. They will run and not grow weary. They will walk and not faint.
Isaiah 40:31
Before I start to write this post, I want to underline something from that letter.
Girls, you are His princess.
Boys, you are His prince.
I know it's hard to keep that in mind, because in this world most of us are just "another human". One of that 6 almost 7 billions. For this world I am just another Stephanie, and you probably just another Jessica, Ricky, James, Esther or whatever your name is.
But for God, you are His princess.. His prince.. And His love for you is never ending. You own His heart. His heart is all for you. He is crazily madly in love with you.
I also have to keep that in mind.
Back to that letter. It is easy to say, "be patient, God's timing is the best" when you are not experiencing "the waiting". I am a very impatient person. I always wanting things to come fast. I want it now so it's better be now. But since I came to know the Lord, He's been teaching me a lot about waiting for His perfect timing. And He also teaching me again and again to trust in His plan and promises.
I love to dream and sadly I will force my dreams to fit into God's dream for my life. But He is saying that His dream for us is far greater than our own dream. BAM! Can you think about it again? Far greater than our own dream. I believe that none of us dreaming of ourselves something little. We mostly will dream about something big. But no matter how big our dreams are, His dream for us still far greater.
But when the time of waiting comes, it feels so empty. The time of waiting for me is the best time, but also the hardest time. It is hard because you are waiting. Who likes waiting, anyway? None of us, I believe. It is the best because when you see the result, the price, the rewards and it is the time where you will grow a lot.
For me, I like to be busy. I love to have something to do in my life. I don't like waiting. And God with all His love for me, He gave me this season of waiting. Just a month ago I thought I had all the plan for my life for the next 2 years, but now I have almost nothing. Him again putting me on my knees, taking all of my prides, all of my dreams, emptying me from myself, so He can put more of His heart, His dream and Himself in me.
Is it a nice process? Heck no! It is painful. Remember about the clay and the potter? The story is beautiful isn't it? But think again, that process of making the clay into a very beautiful jar is not easy. Molding, pressing, shaping it and then put it on fire and few more steps and the result is a very beautiful jar. And that is exactly what He is doing to me, to us in the time of waiting.
He is the potter; we are the clay--He does the planning, molding, shaping, building, constructing, fashioning, forming, devising, the reworking; He makes the indentations, the marks, and places His stamp of identification on us.
And that is exactly what is going on in my life right now. He is the true gardener. He cuts off every branch in me that bears no fruit, while every branch that does bear fruit He prunes so it will be even more fruitful (John 15:1-2). He is doing it right now in my life. Taking off everything in me that bears no fruit and prunes everything in me that does bear fruit so it will bears more. This process is painful yet something to be rejoice.
I long to fly, but He doesn't want me to fly before His plan is complete. I long to save the world, but He doesn't want me to save it with my own strength. I want to run the race, but He doesn't want me to run on the wrong path.
Whatever He do, He do it for our best. That's somehow we always forget. When things go wrong, we often asking Him why. We also start to blame Him, doubt Him and on and on. It happened to me few times. We forget that as much as we want good things in our lives, He is wanting it more. He wants us to live the best life that we can.
So now then I will wait. I will draw myself closer to Him. It doesn't matter how much pain that I have to go through in this process, I want to be more like Him.
In this waiting moment, He's been challenging me to die to myself more and more. He also putting me in the situation where I cannot go anywhere but to run to Him. He is teaching me that He loves my little family more than I love them. He is telling me to trust Him that my mom's health is under His control. He is asking me to trust Him that He will provide every single penny that I need--not only money but He also teaching me to trust Him that He will take care of me.
One story for that: yesterday afternoon I went home from the hospital with just enough money for the transportation. I had no extra money at all. Last time I eat was on the afternoon the day before. So it was almost all day without food, only water and a glass of apple juice. I was beyond hungry I think. There was no food in my house. We are running out of money and can't really afford to do groceries. I was sitting down on my bed telling God how hungry I was and asking Him to help me not to feel hungry. And then about 5 minutes after that my friend called me on the phone asking me where I was. He's telling me that he bought some food for me and my brother. I asked him why, he told me "just because I want to". But then I know it's God telling him to do that. It's a simple story but yet showing His love and mercy and grace in my life. He will never let me starving. He is taking care of me, not only for big things but also all the tiny little wee things in my life.
While we are waiting we always have to remember that we were formed by God's hands, dreamed up in His heart and placed in this world for a purpose. So that we know that this whole process will brings us to the best of us.
I know for sure this season of waiting will bring me the sweetest of rewards. It will bring me closer to Him, to the lover of my soul.
And in this season of waiting; even though it's hard, even though it's painful, even though it feels like I'm in the desert; I will wait on Him.
I'm waiting on You, Lord
And I am hopeful
I'm waiting on You, Lord
Though it is painful
But patiently I will wait
I will move ahead, bold and confident
And while I'm waiting
I will serve You
While I'm waiting
I will not faint
While I'm waiting
I will not grow weary
While I'm waiting
I will worship You
"I know what it is to be in need, and I know what it is to have plenty. I have learned the secret of being content in any and every situation, whether well fed or hungry, whether living in plenty or in want. I can do all this through Him who gives me strength" -Philippians 4:12-13
And to finish this post I would like to ask you to keep me in your prayers. I do believe in the power of prayer.
Please pray for my mom's health, pray that she will keep getting better and better so she will be ready to go home by the end of this week. Please pray for me as a wait on the Lord for the next step; He has revealed some of it, I just need to get my focus back. Please pray for focus, I've been running around since my mom went into the hospital so I can't really put things together. Please and please pray for God's provision; for my mom's hospital bills that need to be paid on Saturday and also provision for all of our needs, we are pretty broke but I know God is in control. Thank you guys!
And I pray so that when you're facing time of waiting you will keep focus on God. I pray that you will get more understanding of His love and His plan in your life. I pray that you will always remember that you are His prince/princess, that His love for you is never ending.
Let us fly high on wings like eagles!