What if God tells you to let your dreams
and plan die?
What if He asks you to surrender
everything?
What if He closes the door?
What if it happens to you?
For me, it is not what if…
It is happened.
Most of you know that for the last couple
of months I was planning to go to Kona, Hawaii to do School of Biblical Studies
there. In October I heard from God and then I prayed over it, asked people to
pray for it, got lots of confirmations, doors were open, provisions came, I
went home to Indonesia; everything seems so great.
Until last Thursday when my visa is disapproved,
I was so shocked.
After He opened all doors, why He closed
this one?
I went home from the embassy, locked
myself in the room. I spent few hours crying, weeping, sobbing, praying,
asking, seeking, crying, asking, praying and praying until I finally feel
better. He comforted me that afternoon. He gave me peace, and again I know that
I am not alone.
What happened then? Why is it happened
like that? I've been spending so much time, so much money. Why?
I was trying to find the answer until I found
my quite time note few days ago.
“Will you surrender everything to Me,
Stephanie? How ‘bout if I ask you to let your dreams and plans die? To let it
die and I will raise it again. I will raise it again according to My plan and
My perfect timing. Will you surrender, Stephanie?”
That time my answer was, “YES LORD, I
SURRENDER ALL. AT ANY RISK”
And here I am right now. I am letting all
my dreams and plans die and put it all on His feet, knowing that somehow
someway He has a better plan for my life. Even though my heart is broken and I
can feel the pain, I know that His joy is always new every morning. In fact, I
do feel better now. He is faithful and His healing is amazing.
When the world has fallen out from under
me, I’ll be found in you, still standing. –Brooke Fraser
I wrote Unshakable faith comes from having your faith shaken few months ago. And I was just reading it again and
thought, “Bummer, it is happening again right now.”
My faith is shaken but it is unshakable. It is because I have Him as the anchor of my soul. And Jesus is the strongest anchor ever! If you have Him as you anchor, no storm can ever move you from His side. And I am
here still standing.
I chose to believe, no matter what.
I chose to stand still and holding on to His promises.
I chose to believe that my cup is overflow.
I chose to keep looking forward to the future.
One of my dear friend post this on my facebook wall:
When we lose one blessings, another is often most unexpectedly given in its place. -C.S Lewis
And I do believe that. I believe that there are more blessings to come. I believe that He is teaching me to be more stronger.
Since last Thursday lots of people looking at me with a very sad face saying, "I am sorry to hear that you didn't get your visa. Be strong."
But then most them saying it with a tones like it's the end of the world, like I am dying or something terrible that is unfix. It is actually not that bad. It is not the end of the world for me. I am not dying. And it is absolutely not a terrible thing. It is a great lesson from God.
When we are facing difficulty, a lot of us ended up drowning into the deepest sorrow that never ends. But it is written, "My grace is sufficient for you, for My power is made perfect in weakness."
"For the sake of Christ, then , I am content with weaknesses, insults, hardships, persecutions, and calamities. For when I am weak, then I am strong.
When I am weak, then I am strong. That is exactly what I feel. Last Thursday when I was in the deepest sadness, I felt His love so strong comforting me. And that time I am strong, because He is strong. He doesn't want me to drown in my sadness. Because it is not the end of the world. It is a privileged, to be able to experience this disappointment and sadness, and then at the same time to experience how His love and His grace lift you up again and fills you with His joy.
He closed the door for me to go to Hawaii. He closed the door for me to study SBS. But there are a lot of open doors waiting for me. Because this journey of knowing Him won't stop just because of one closed door. But that one closed door will show me how great is He the one that can open thousand of doors.
When one door closes, another door opens; but we often look so long and so regretfully upon the closed door that we do not see the one which has opened for us. -Alexander Graham Bell
Most of us knows that quote and it is true. I also believe that God doesn't want us to stare regretfully upon the closed door. He wants us to move forward. To seek and also believe that there is another door has opened for us.
And I am here right now amazed. Amazed at all this experiences that He gave me. Amazed at how big His plan for my life.
I am not perfect. I am still struggling. I am still seeking. But He is so faithful that He is showing me that it is not the end. One thing that brought me to tears was when He told me how proud He is to see me able to lie down all the desires of my heart and let it all die and still believing that He is faithful with His promises.
It is not about what you do for Him or where you go for Him. It is not about that. It is about the relationship that you have with Him. Because whatever you do and wherever you go, He is with you.
I know and I believe that I am not the only one that been through a disappointment. I am not the only one facing the closed door. I am not the only one that had to let the dreams die.
But I know the One that is able to lift us up again. The only One that can raise the dead. The One that can makes us stronger through hardships. It is Him, our God.
And now don't look back. I don't want to look back and feel sad about myself. The only time that you should look back is to see how far God brought you. And He will always be with you until He fulfill all His promises in your life.
And I do believe that He will fulfill His promises in my life.
He is in control. The creator of this universe knows exactly the plan that He has for our lives.
So, keep smiling :)
And stay tune for my next update about what will I do next =)
------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Please keep praying for me as I am praying for you. Right now I am getting ready to start a new journey again with Him. Because this is not the end yet. I can't tell you right now what I will do because I am still processing it with Him. But it is exciting!!
Thank you so much for all the prayers and supports towards my plan for SBS. I won't stop here. Stay tune for my next journey. And please keep praying for wisdom and for God's provisions. I am aware that I've been spending big amount of money for SBS. But I do believe when it is God's will then it is also God's bill.
If you would like to know how to support me financially you can click donate
Thank you so much!! xoxo