"I need you like a hurricane. Thunder crashing, wind and rain, to tear these walls down. I am only Yours now." -"Hurricane", Jimmy Needham
Starting over is hard, there's just no way around that. A complete over haul in the way you live your day-to-day life is bound to be fraught with good days and not-so-good days. And it's incredibly easy to slip into a funk, convince yourself you'll be forever lonely, and give up. Trust me, speaking from experience here. But here's the thing... there's a difference between lonely and solitude. Lonely seems to typically be something that is thrust upon a person, a change in social aptitude, a lack in companionship. Sad.
But solitude. Solitude is good. Solitude is a choice, a place of peace and of growth. Jesus spent time in solitude often, like in the garden before His arrest.
"He withdrew about a stone's throw beyond them, knelt down and prayed, "Father, if You are willing, take this cup from me; yet not my will, but yours be done." An angel from heaven appeared to him and strengthened him." -Luke 22:41-43
I feel like when we hit a hard time in life, this is what God desires us to do. To be like His son, and give ourselves time with Him. Time to go "Ok God. I'm not a huge fan of what's down right now, but You know what, if it's what You want... let's do this thing." And time for Him to give us His strength, instead of trying to rely on our own. I feel like I could write and entire different post on my need to be self-sufficient and "okay" all the freaking time, and maybe I will. But for this post's sake, just know that that is a struggle of mine. It's a struggle for me to let go of the reigns and let God drive.
And I need to learn that my life doesn't surprise God. So often I find myself standing back when I feel like everything's falling apart, looking up at God going "umm.. do You see this? You see what's going on down here? as surprised as I am?" I completely humanize God on a daily basis. Just because I am made in His image doesn't mean that He is made in mine. Thank God.
I am resilient, strong and unfortunately prideful. In my foolishness, I think that my plans are better than God's, my decision making abilities are better than God's, and I'm stronger and wiser than He is to the point that I can radically alter the plan He has for my life. When things start to go a way I didn't foresee, my immediate reaction is ugh, I messed this up. Great. Rather than the much more humble and grateful reaction of clearly my God's plan is better.
Life threw me for a little bit of a loophole, but aren't those the sweetest times?
And I know that I need Him. I need Him to rip through all my preconceptions and biases and walls and make me His. Just His. Not this guy's, that friend's, mine and then His. Just His.
Need a game changer? Go read Romans 8. I've been coming back to it for like a week now, and every time it's better.
For if our God is for us, who can be against us?
He is for us. He is for me.
And I am only His.
"my beloved is mine and I am His" Song of Songs 2:16
And I need to learn that my life doesn't surprise God. So often I find myself standing back when I feel like everything's falling apart, looking up at God going "umm.. do You see this? You see what's going on down here? as surprised as I am?" I completely humanize God on a daily basis. Just because I am made in His image doesn't mean that He is made in mine. Thank God.
I am resilient, strong and unfortunately prideful. In my foolishness, I think that my plans are better than God's, my decision making abilities are better than God's, and I'm stronger and wiser than He is to the point that I can radically alter the plan He has for my life. When things start to go a way I didn't foresee, my immediate reaction is ugh, I messed this up. Great. Rather than the much more humble and grateful reaction of clearly my God's plan is better.
Our God is greater, our God is stronger
than our plans. than our pride. than our disbelief. than our fear.
Life threw me for a little bit of a loophole, but aren't those the sweetest times?
And I know that I need Him. I need Him to rip through all my preconceptions and biases and walls and make me His. Just His. Not this guy's, that friend's, mine and then His. Just His.
Need a game changer? Go read Romans 8. I've been coming back to it for like a week now, and every time it's better.
For if our God is for us, who can be against us?
He is for us. He is for me.
And I am only His.
"my beloved is mine and I am His" Song of Songs 2:16