Tuesday, March 27, 2012

Stop Playing That I-Am-Strong-Enough Game



Do you feel weak? Do you feel stuck and don’t know where to go? Do you tired of running this race? Do you experiencing that closed door? Do you feel hopeless?

Let’s read this scripture:

What He opens no one can shut, and what He shuts no one can open. I know your deeds. See, I have placed before you an open door that no one can shut. I know that you have little strength, yet you have kept My word and have not denied my name. –Revelation 3:7b-8

I got this scripture last night and it successfully made me cry. And then this morning I received a message from my friend saying that she’s been praying for me and gave me exactly the same scripture. O how amazing our God is!!

He knows that we only have little strength and that’s why we don’t need to play I-am-strong-enough game with Him.

I staff 4 DTS in my 3 years time in Ywam. I’ve learned again and again about God and His mighty strength and that there is nothing that we can hide from Him. But then I did play that I-am-strong-enough game so many times. And I just played it again yesterday. I was talking to some friends of mine telling them that I am feeling a lot better and I am ready for the next step and there is nothing can stop me to keep running this race. But then I went home, sitting on my bed and suddenly I cried. I was weeping again, like a baby.

That was when suddenly this vision came to me:

I was running as hard as I can.
Sweat all over me.
“I can’t stop” I think.
“I have to keep running”
My muscles are sore, my legs feels like it’s almost broken.
And suddenly I fell down on my face.
“NO!” I screamed, I have to start to run again.
I stood up and started to run again.
“See, Father.. I can, I can do this. I am running this race for you”
And then I fell again.. I stood up again and fell again until all my body cannot take it anymore.
I was laying on the race track when I saw Him there sitting down next to me.
“You’re tired” He said.
“I can do this, Father. I will stand up again. I will keep running” I said.
He smiled. He helped me to move a little bit and put my head on His lap.
“It’s okay” He brushed my hair with His hand.
I started to cry. I cried and cried, “I am sorry I can’t continue to run”
“My whole body is aching. My legs cannot move. I am trying, Father.. But I can’t”
He looked at my eyes, “Why are you doing this?”
“I.. I do this for You. I run for You..”
He smiled, “Beloved, I know you’re tired. Take a rest. Here with Me”
“I created you for Me, not for the running track.” He hold my hands “And when you’re tired, I am here to give you rest. You don’t have to try to get to all the finish lines, I am the finish line. I know what you’ve been doing, there is nothing hidden from My eyes. And I am with you. Remember that, I am with you no matter what.”
He kissed my forehead and in sudden my whole body healed.
He wiped all the tears, helped me to stand up again and hold my hand very tight.
“Let us start this journey again. We’ll take a rest when we need it. We will stand, walk, run and fly together.” He looked at me, “Look at Me, I am the finish line so you don’t have to run for me because I am running with you.”

He is running with me. He is the One that holds the key is running with me. He knows where exactly where to go.

It is again a very big revelation to me. He knows where to go, even when He took us to a place and then in the middle of the journey we found out that the door is closed, it doesn’t mean that we are lost. We are never lost if we’re with Him. That closed door is an experience that He gives us to make us grow. Because He have placed before us an open door that no one can shut (Revelation  3:8). That’s an amazing promise.

And as long as I love the Lord, surely I will rise again. –Dulce Amor

That is a quote from my dearest friend. She wrote it in her message to me. And it is true. As long as I love the Lord my Father, surely I will rise again. I can fall, I can feel tired, angry and sad, I can maybe feel disappointed with the world but I know He will never let me down and drowning forever. Surely I will rise again.

Surely I will rise again with my Father beside me holding my hand. I see my future is bright. And there is no closed door that can take me away from my Father. I do believe in His promises and I know that He has placed that one door for me that no one can shut. No power can shut it down.

And I don’t have to play that I-am-strong-enough game anymore. I can cry and I can feel weak, but then I know that He is there strengthen me.
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