Maybe
for some of you it’s not crazy at all. Or maybe you think I’m crazy because I called
it crazy. Well at least that’s how I feel right now.
According
to the Holman Bible Dictionary, Hope is a trustful expectation, particularly
with reference to the fulfillment of God’s promises. Hope is the anticipation
of the favorable outcome under God’s guidance, the confidence that what God has
done for us in the past guarantees our participation in what God will do in the
future.
Hope
is a trustful expectation to the fulfillment of God’s promises. Beautiful. I am
hoping and trusting that God will fulfill His promises in my life.
But
in my case right now, people call me crazy. They said I am hoping too much.
They said my expectation and my hope are too high, too crazy.
Okay
this is my case for you who don’t know the situation I am facing right now. I’m
planning to do my SBS (School of Biblical Studies) in Kona, Hawaii. Well,
actually it’s not my plan. I was planning to do my SBS in Thailand until God
told me that it was not His plan for me. He told me to go to Kona, Hawaii. It
was back in October 2011. So after lots of prayer, I started to plan this
journey. I had to go back to Indonesia to apply my visa. Since day one I had no
money, at all. But through this journey God is teaching me again about faith,
trust and hope.
So
now I’m back in Indonesia, for more than a month now. I went to the embassy
twice and every time I came they asked me to come back again with more
documents. I don’t know why they don’t ask it all together at once.
And
here I am now, 19 days before my school starts. No visa (yet). No money (yet).
No ticket (yet).
I’ve
been praying and asking. And God keep telling me to keep holding on to His
promises.
I
knew that it won’t be an easy journey. I knew it from the start. An Indonesian
trying to get US visa, it is not an easy task. And I knew that it will cost
lots of money, money that I don’t have. I knew it. But I have faith. I trust
Him. I have hope.
And
that’s why they call me crazy. But it’s not the first time they ever call me
like that.
Just
about 3 years ago I was planning to go to Australia to do my DTS (Discipleship
Training School). Same story: no money and no visa. I told everybody that I met
that I will go, that God told me to go and I trust Him. And you know what they
said? They called me crazy :)
And
you know what; I got my Australian Visa just 5 days before my school starts. I
had my ticket (ONE WAY TICKET!) just 3 days before the school starts.
And
you know what they said? CRAZY!!!
I
know, it somehow feels so crazy. Even me right now, writing this post, still
thinking it’s crazy. This hope thingy is crazily amazing because I know where I
put my hope. I put it in Him, Him that will never forsake me.
I
remember one of my good friends told me “Do not give up, Stephanie. Keep
holding on into your hope. It might seem blurry right now, and you maybe feel
so tired. But do not give up your hope because you will never know when it’ll
come. Maybe it’ll come tomorrow or in the next few hours. If you give up now,
you’ll lose. Its close, Steph. It is close. Don’t give up your hope.”
It
might seem crazy, that I am hoping for the things that is way beyond my power
and control. But I don’t mind people call me crazy or out of my mind. I don’t mind
even if they laugh at my hope, because I know where my hope comes from. It came
from the One who hold this universe.
And
right now, 19 days before the school starts, I still have hope. I don’t have
the visa yet and I also don’t have the money for the flight yet. But I have
hope. I have faith. That everything will work in His perfect timing. And I won’t
give up. No matter what people say, I won’t give up.
They
can laugh at me, they can call me crazy, they can shake their head (until they
can shake no more) but I won’t give up my hope.
We
have this hope as an anchor for the soul, firm and secure. Hebrews 6:19
If
you ever see a ship, it needs a very strong anchor. Because if the anchor is
not strong, when the storm comes it will take away the ship.
He
is my anchor. Jesus is my anchor. He is the strongest anchor that you could
ever find in this universe. And this storm will never take me away from Him.
So don't you mind if people call you crazy or out of your mind just because you are doing something that believe for. A lot of people doesn't understand God's promises in their life. And we are not living according to the world standard of how we supposed to live our lives.
I don't mind they call me crazy, because I know there will come a time that I can show them how crazily amazing my God is.
And for me right now, I will keep continue holding on to my hope, my anchor, my Jesus.
Please keep continue pray for me, so I will continue stay firm and secure knowing that He is in control. Please pray that in less than 19 days I will have enough money to buy my flight ticket and get my visa.
And me, I will be praying for you so that you will always believe that there is still hope, no matter what your situations are. Never give up, you are so very close to it right now.
I put this picture because I am a visual person. And I think it explain the meaning of "never give up" pretty well. So never give up, even though people call you crazy :)
